Feeling Xmas cynicism?

Hilary Smith

Hilary Smith is a writer with Relationship Services and an experienced counsellor. www.relate.org.nz

Making Every Day Miracles

Felt Christmas tree-shaped decoration on Christmas tree, close up
Get into the giving spirit and make some miracles for your loved ones.

It's the perfect time of year for miracles. Never mind the incredible tension of people and gifts and events sardined into a few short days. Warm up on Christmas spirit. Breathe in the wonderful possibilities the New Year offers. A fresh start counts as a miracle every time.

Anything beyond expectation is a miracle. Like the warrant your ratty old car flies through with no mention of rust. It's bounty from the universe when it happens. The rush of relief from disaster averted boosts your day.

When you wake up to a cup of coffee you didn't have to make for yourself, when someone realizes you'll miss your favourite TV show and records it for you, or cooks you your favourite dinner, you know the people around you are in the business of making miracles.

These every day miracles have impact. These ordinary, simple bite sized bits of joy invite you to feel that anything is possible. The universe is on your side and it's not just a fluke. You matter enough to someone that they want to please you.

Minor miracles make sense of approaching the world with warmth and hope. They put a spring in your step and a high voltage zap in your smile. You start brimming with generosity, wanting to share your luckiness around.

You might want to notice the effect on your relationships when you do. Feeling lucky and appreciated is catchy. It's suddenly easy to acknowledge your work mate's talent, to enjoy your partner's quirky ways, to admire your teenager's choice of garb or to tidy the room you promised to clean a week ago.

When you let your delight spill over you make miracles for the people around you. You confound their carefully realistic expectations. You remind them that they are worth a little extra appreciation. It's a Christmas gift from the heart.

Making miracles is about acting on the spirit of Christmas. It's like any gift giving, a genuine impulse to give is touching all by itself. Still, a singing tie with flashing lights might not be to everyone's taste.

Notice what your intended beneficiary enjoys, and how they relax. Think about what makes them sad or cross and when they want encouragement or support. Using this knowledge you can design a miracle that will be well received. They'll not only like what you offer, they'll be warmed by your attention to their preferences.

You could think about the times you really infuriate or distress them. What is it you think or do or say that rubs them up the wrong way? If you really want to light someone up, changing those attitudes and actions will do it.

Take hold of the promise of a New Year and try doing something different. Extend that giving spirit into your relationships and celebrate the miracles you can make for each other.

 

"It's a miracle I can still drive! Wait! Check out my new yacht!"

If you would like help to make miracles in your relationships, telephone Relationship Services on 0800 RELATE (0800 735 283) or your local office which is listed in the telephone directory.

 
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