Discussing :: Weddings - who are they really for?


I put it off for 5 years and ended up losing her...So don't procastinate.


I guess the parents want to be involved if they are paying but keeping it within reasonable limits can be hard. I think making them responsible for the decision for one aspect (each) is a good idea and then there is no rivalry or tension. Maybe the flowers for the venue could be chosen by the bride's parents (within guidelines and with helpful suggestions) and the cars could be chosen by the groom's parents, for example. Then they have one thing to concentrate on and tell everyone about if they feel the need!


weddings are for the caterers , designers , event planners .....after all there the ones that make the cash.

Good point! Though when I got married it was on the beach in San Francisco with the Golden Gate bridge behind us, then the reception in a pagoda in Golden Gate park catered by friends, so no one really made a lot of money off us.

Of course, it didn't actually last...

that would be awesome to do.


do what you want to do :)


It really is up to the couple, and they have to be straight up front about what they are having as soon as it is being planned.
I think the guest list causes more problems than is necessary, "got to invite so and so because ....etc"
Get a budget, stick to it and be strong.
My son is getting married in Rarotonga in October, only his true friends and family will get there.
It has certainly stopped a lot of bitching amongst the rellies who think it's their right to be at a family member's wedding.
Having said that, him & his fiance are hosting a celebration party for everyone unable to attend the actual ceremony.
Any problems were nipped in the bud very early on in the proceedings.
My advice is just enjoy planning (it is fun), and remember the day belongs to you two, no-one else.
Good luck & best wishes.

Yay - this was my suggestion. Having not tried it I didn't know if it would work, but it seems like a great idea to me. The people who are are the ones who really want to be there, they get a holiday, sounds wonderful!


I think the wedding should be about you and what you want!!! We went off and got married on our own and then had a party later. Not our fault the familys don't get along with each other! Was the best day ever!!! And cheaper!!!


Having just got married last year I think you need to keep reminding yourself and each other that its for you, not family, not parents, not anyone else.
We managed to do the whole thing our way and really enjoyed the celebration


Weddings belong to the happy couple first and foremost, and the rest of the family second. Do your own thing, whatever that may be, and you will never regret it.


A similar dilema i also faced. You are getting married so it's your day not anyone else's (keep that in mind in every decision made or not made). The way i avoided those trying to take over was i made sure i/we paid for our wedding but mentioned to the parents and in-laws to be, that we'd accect any "help" or donations to help make it extra special and less of a financial struggle. A FEW MONEY TIPS. 1- make a budget and stick to it. 2- get friends and family to help if they offer, this is better to have than a gift from that person. 3- a lunchtime wedding is cheaper than an evening one, especially the consumption of alcohol (cash bar is best than you forking out to create alcoholics ruining the day).
--> Any way good luck with your day.


Foe everybody who bothers to attend to have a good and stress free time.

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