Discussing :: Weddings overseas - a selfish choice?


Weddings overseas - a selfish choice?

Popping over to a Pacific Island to tie the knot is an increasingly popular choice for many Kiwis, and during these darker, colder winter months is easy to understand the attraction. A ceremony on the beach front in Fiji, Rarotonga or Samoa will look great in your photos and may even help to keep your costs down when compared with a big bash back home, but is it a bit of a selfish choice? Think of poor old granddad who might not appreciate the tropical heat, or your friends who face the dilemma of missing your nuptials or spending their hard earned dollars on a big Pacific trip they would otherwise have had no intention of taking. Your fiancé's pregnant best friend may never forgive you for dragging her overseas to the heat, humidity and ever-lurking possibility of malaria or denge fever! Maybe the local register office isn't such a bad option after all.


i would love to do that but i think i would feel a little guilty if i didn't bring my closest family members.


I think that if you choose to get married overseas then you should expect that it may be without family/friends. Very few people i know could opt to take a holiday from work to go overseas to a wedding that is not their own. Very few could afford it. I don't think i could seriously expect others to pay for flights/accomodation/food just to watch me say i do. I would far rather let everyone know that i was planning to tie the knot whilst away but provide an opportunity to celebrate on return. Weddings should never put the guests into debt.


My partner is overseas, so we will probably end up having two celebrations!


It depends on your personal circumstances, the over all costs, and finances. I would expect more people to choose over seas travel for the honeymoon than for the wedding. Some couples do have more than one ceremony, to make it easier on their family and friends. Same with funerals, though that is easier to transport the remains if a cremation is involved.


Weddings cost a whole lot of money and with so much going on, the bride and groom often miss a lot of the fun hosting so many people. My wife and I got married in England and now we're having a massive party for all the kiwis that couldn't make it - be a lot more relaxed without having to worry about the outfits, weather and if my divorced parents are going to wage war with each other. I say do what you want for your day and follow it up with a more relaxed celebration back home.


It serves to restrict the attendees especially when you know too many local riffraff at home. I havent been married so cant comment from that view. Know people that got married overseas and the venue had a lot to do with it. Memories, etc.


I think weddings should be more about the couple doing what they want and not pleasing the guests anyway. People waste a lot of money on stupid stuff to impress others. Best weddings I've been to have always been the more casual ones. But in saying that, it is distressing for Grandparents when they can't make an overseas wedding....have seen that happen and this girls Nana nearly bought her up. Was like a kick in the guts for her.


My son actually got married in Rarotonga last year. I was unable to go, but I sent him off with my love. His reasoning having it overseas was they wanted to have a relaxing wedding for everyone to enjoy. It also made the difficult invites list a whole lot simpler & no one became upset or felt left out.


No way, it's not a selfish choice. The wedding is between you and your partner. Any others that come are a bonus but not essential.


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