Discussing :: How to make your ex leave you alone.


How to make your ex leave you alone.

Ok, so the title of this post might lead you to believe that I know how to do this, but alas, after almost two and a half years of trying I'm starting to think that it's just not going to be possible. We share a child which means that there will always be contact, but every time she has a breakup (every few months) or some kind of work crisis (every few months) she seems to contact me and want to engage with me over it. I've tried all the usual things: being nice and subtle, suggesting it might be better for her to discuss these things with a friend or family; being blunt and saying I'm too busy or not interested; even resorting to being rude and telling her to bugger off and leave me alone. I'd really like our contact to be just about our son, whenever necessary and nothing else. Is this too much to ask for? Any suggestions on how I might get through to her?

this might be a little out of the box for an idea but how about every time she wants to do this suggest you go to a public place. Then Have an accident of the bladder or bowel kind and very publicly proclaim it (for best affect eat alot of asparagus and drink 2 - 3 litres of apple juice before she comes.

Im guessing she wont want to be seen with you again and then just say the only time you can talk is in public

Nice idea Jabes. How about projectile vomiting? Prefaced by the sentence "Talking to you makes me feel a bit queasy"

ah see now we are getting somewhere, used to do something simular with an old ex who used to spend far too long in womans shops once i got bored being helpful id start asking if i could try stuff on and she would pretty quickly suffle me out the door :D haha

Haha - see that wouldn't work with me. I'd have you shuffled off into the changing rooms and be supplying you with appropriate sizes, styles and colour choices.

oh i didnt asked her i asked the shop assistant in a rather loud voice in the middle of glassons haha everyone looked at us funny but was worth it.


I have the opposite situation and when kids are involved it's just as hard. I can't get him to respond to any of my emails. He's married now and it's like he's forgotten we exist. Pretty crushing for a little girl. As for your ex - she must be getting something out of the interaction or she wouldn't keep doing it. I would just try saying, every time, that this is not something you wish to talk about and you have to go. Unfortunately this will probably piss her off, which is not great since you have to keep civil for your son. You might have a better way of just stopping the conversation. But do it quickly, every time. You don't want her to be getting anything positive out of the interaction, that's what she's coming back for. Or you could leave the country. I've done this on many occasions and it works remarkably well. It's never easy. Good luck, hon. x

Ha! Leave the country, I like it! If I could take him with me I'd move to Oz. Even with the large amount of Australians there it would still be preferable. Alas, he needs to see her too, so that plan's a non starter.

so clearly my advice is the only viable option


Ex's especially one's involving children would be hard because the contact you have with her can't be just your son, because something will always be thrown in the mix to counter that....and it sounds like she may get pissed if you don't lend a friendly ear........has she got friends you know that maybe able to help her out more that's an option, it is weird that she is using you as the sounding board though ...OR maybe you can try exactly the same thing on her (just make it up though or say its a friend in that situation) and see how she reacts to it, and if she doesn't seem interested just say but you come to me when you want to discuss it and if she does seem interested then tell her it maybe better if you spoke to someone more neutral who you haven't been in a relationship with as they may give a better perspective on things...who knows she may click and may think to do the same thing.....


Calmly tell her every time she tries to contact you about personal matters that you are sorry, but you only want to maintain contact with her in regards to your child. It may feel mean, but this is a perfectly reasonable decision of yours.

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