Discussing :: How OUR life should be?

#1

How OUR life should be?

It's amazing what one ring can actually do. I am not saying that to be lonely is bad.

#2

The rules of being human.. (see the pic)

#3

The 36 Rules of Life:
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
1 4. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings’.
27. There is a very fine line between ‘hobby’ and ‘mental illness.’
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
36. Your true friends love you anyway.

#4

Imagine life as a game of Golf, wouldn't it be boring without the bunkers, sand traps. To put a spin on your ball here’s a few saying golfers use to express a shot:

A Condom - safe but didn't feel right.
An elephant's a**ehole - it's high and it stinks.
A sister-in-law - I'm up there, but I know that I shouldn't be.
A Cuban - needs one more revolution.
A Brazilian - hits the narrow strip down the middle.
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim.
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water.
A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle.

#5

I really like "no matter where you go, there you are". It was probably said by someone terribly clever but I remember (maybe incorrectly) Mel Gibson saying it in Mad Max! Doesn't make it any less true.

#6

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO What a ride!" Author: unknown

Many have probably heard this one, but how do you Pace Yourself & Save The Best To Last!

#7

...Life is a journey with turns here and there....it should be as you want it to be....but choose wisely....

#8

Make yourself a charming couple's with the help of plenty of chemistry ;-)

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