Discussing :: Best ways and places to "break the ice" with a girl/lady?


Best ways and places to "break the ice" with a girl/lady?

Ok ok so some of you won't be in need of this - but to those of you who are like me and have a bit of trouble connecting with the opposite sex, how should we go about it? Sure, there are easy suggestions: go join a club, go get drunk, go approach randoms, etc, etc, etc. BUT I want some sort of reassurance. Sure, rejection is part of the package and once you admit this it takes some of the pressure off. I guess I just want to know more of the game plan. So a) Share ways/places on how to break the ice with a girl/lady. Let's say the intention is to get to know them at least as a friend, if not for relationship purposes. b) Share stories of your experiences in venturing out and trying some of these methods. Ideally if you're offering advice you have some story to backup your advice.


Wow, that's a tough one, it's so individual! After 2 long term relationships, I found myself single again at the age of 40. I ended up joining a couple of online dating sites. Now, I'm pretty comfortable in my skin, I'm quite comfortable chatting up girls that I come across in real life, but undeniably, it's a numbers game my friend and you can't beat online for giving you the opportunity to chat to lots of women. In the last 18 months I've made so many friends, had plenty of... um... fun along the way and really enjoyed the experience. If you get tongue tied in person, try cyberdating, apparently that how 20% of couples in NZ meet now. Good luck!


dude picking up girls is easy. all it takes is a thick skin and practice. watch these guys do it [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/user/SimplePickup[/youtube]

LOL their videos are great


Classic! Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Bone. Haha! You have to admire him though...


As a member of the opposite sex I have to say ditch the pick up lines and just say "hi hows it going" and have a normal conversation! Plus if you stuff it up, who cares, we can be a bit useless at this sort of thing too. The good ones, hopefully you've got a bit of a natural rapport with...and you live happily ever after??? Then again, hasn't worked out for me just yet. Oh well there goes the back up story...

I agree with you that it's probably just as easy as you say - just say hi! I guess some of us are into the whole planning before action which makes it awkward.


i reckon too the more you think about it the more you stress about it then end up psyching yourself out, im by no means some guru i used to be terribly shy at talking to anyone i didnt know. Then got a job in a retail setting and found out its not all that bad and end up talking alot more to random girls. Cause i dont think about it so stress less so just do it.


If I turned someone down, I'd still be flattered that someone made the effort/thought I was worth it (as long as they hadn't been sleazy or creepy about it). So don't think of that as a failure. Least you paid that compliment to someone!

Wow - great point of view right here! Yes, I'm sure some would be flattered even though they may turn me/whoever down. Some might not give this compliment but whether they say it or not, it is an ego-trip being "hit on"/"approached"/etc.


well the talking works, met a hot German girl at my work just talked to her picked up the nuts asked her if she wanted to go surfing with me (she was looking at boards) we did that picked up the nuts again and asked if she wanted to go out on a date which we also did and was awesome, seeing her again tonight Didnt use a line or anything just asked and as she said last night "it worked"

WooHoo, go Jabes!


How about drink a few tequila's first, that should get you more comfortable in your own skin, but don't drink too much, nobody likes a drunk in their face!!

see if someone did that with me id presumed they have a drinking problem! maybe a glass of wine or a beer but a couple of tequilas sorta says something!


Yep some reasonable advice here. Maybe try ten pin bowling. It gives you the chance to; break from conversation (or not if it's going swimmingly), ascertain sporting prowess and sportsmanship, provides entertainment, exercise, dance (if your feeling keen when they turn on lights and music) and provides a safe public area to break the ice in.

Shit... we were supposed to give good advice??? Actually I agree with 10 pin, I've started going again quite regularly after a break of 15 years. One of my early dates with my lady was at the Newmarket alley. Both our kids came and played on the dodgems whilst we flirted and played with balls....

hope you didnt polish them too much

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