Turn Her On With Your Touch

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

When people think of sex, generally only intercourse comes to mind. But there are different kinds of sex and plenty of different ways to give your partner pleasure. You may not automatically think of your hands as ‘the best tools for the job’, but sometimes they are. Use them well and your partner is guaranteed to want more... and more. Read on to find out how to become the master of your digits.

Il bacio


Be smooth
Before you start there are some important things that you should know. Firstly, the area around a woman’s vagina is very, very sensitive – so trim your nails and check that your hands are smooth. Always make sure your hands are clean (it’s just common sense) and remove any rings. Now you’re ready to begin.

Learn her anatomy
It’s always nice to know your way around and that goes for the female body too. So take the time to learn about female anatomy - you’ll feel less like you are shooting in the dark that way! As a quick summary the inner labia is more sensitive than the outer labia; the G-spot is located approximately one to two inches inside the vagina on the frontal wall and the clitoris is the most sensitive spot, with six-thousand to eight-thousand nerve endings.  Don’t worry too much if you’re not 100% sure of where everything is located because you can always stop and ask for directions!

Lube up
Using your hands on your partner will feel so much better with a lubricant. Use either a water-based lubricant (an inexpensive option but can get sticky if you are playing for a long time) or a silicone lube (stays slick for longer but is not compatible with silicone sex toys). Make sure you apply a generous amount before you begin to glide your hands over your partner’s sweet spots.

Start slow
Turn your partner on slowly by teasing her. Don’t just ‘ram a finger in there’ or go straight for the clitoris – if she’s not warmed up it’s going to be far too sensitive for that. Instead begin by stroking your fingertips over her outer labia and exploring the soft and gentle areas between the legs and labia.

Then, to show off your prowess you could try gently pressing both of the outer labia together and massaging the entire area with your with finger tips, this will indirectly stimulate clitoris and should be very pleasurable for your partner. Next, move your attention to the inner labia, again massage it, along with the outer, and gradually apply more pressure. Feel free to use the different parts of you hand, like the fingertips or side of the hands.

At this stage you could begin to stimulate the whole vaginal by holding the vulva and using your whole hand to massager her. When your partner’s vagina begins to swell and deepens in colour she is aroused.

Take it up a notch

Once your partner is aroused you can begin more targeted stimulation. Using the pad of your finger, move to the area just above the clitoral hood. Move your fingers in a circular motion or flutter back and forth (side to side), depending on what your partner prefers. Build this up slowly - don’t go too hard or fast right away.
At this stage you could penetrate your partner’s vagina by sliding one finger inside of her. Continue to use your thumb to stimulate the clitoris and with the inserted finger make a come here gesture, this will bend your finger towards the frontal wall of the vagina and stimulate the G-spot.

Open up the airwaves
As ever, communication and feedback is crucial at every stage, take notice of both verbal and non-verbal cues. For example, if her belly is rising and falling faster than usual, it’s a good bet that she is enjoying herself! If she raises her hips and pushes into your hand, that’s also a good sign. Ask her if what you are doing feels good, ask for direction or even have her show you what she likes. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, all women are different and the way they like to be touched will be unique to them. So the best way to find out what works is to ask.

Going all the way
Your hands can be used as foreplay or they can be the main course! If you are not switching to oral sex or intercourse, use a technique that your partner likes and gently increase speed and pressure – this should take her to orgasm. If after a while you become tired, don’t be afraid to switch to using a sex toy – you are human after all and can only go for so long!

The tips covered here are by no means exhaustive, so experiment and have fun with your partner. Keep those lines of communication open and practice will eventually make perfect!

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  • Christine says
    Good article - if men would read it!! (ps...I'd love to go to Ascension vineyard!)
    • GEM says
      Christine, this is the equivalent of a road map and we all know men don't need a road map when we're driving...we'll just fumble along until we find our way to the final destination. It may takes three times a long to get there but we always do....well, most of the time bahaha ;-)

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