Increasing your sexual confidence

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

In these times of sexual liberation, it’s not uncommon to find yourself in a relationship with a woman whose sexual resume far outdoes your own. And because this can sometimes make you take a tumble in the confidence stakes, we’ve put together some easy tips for maintaining your inner cool in the bedroom.

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Master something

If you think of sex as being like playing a game of cards then you’ll appreciate how important it is to have a trump card. In the bedroom, no matter how uncertain you feel about your overall skill, if you have just one winning move, it can really turn the game around. Because not only will you feel confident about having this go-to up your sleeve,  it also gives her the illusion that you’re more experienced than you might actually be. And it needn’t be a tricky move either. Some effective skills to practise include; sensual massage, kissing or oral sex - all of which you can read up on in various affordable resources.  

Look Good, Feel Good.

As superficial as it might be, a little bit of pre-coital personal grooming will do wonders for increasing your confidence. So go to the gym a couple of times before you next meet her. Not only will this have you looking fit but the endorphins released during exercise will have you feeling good. Complete the confidence makeover by getting a haircut (upstairs and downstairs) and making sure you smell good.

Touch her like you mean it

If you’re timid in your touch, it immediately sends the signal that you’re uncertain about what you’re doing.  Girls love a guy who can take control in the bedroom – regardless of whether or not you’re equipped to – so make sure you commit to your moves. Mix up your touches between aggressive and lighter ones, but keep your hands moving.  A woman loves it when you put your hands all over her body, because it indicates that you can’t get enough of her. And don’t rely on her to let you know when you should stop kissing and start undressing – because it’s likely she’s waiting for you to take the initiative.

Look like you are enjoying yourself

Nothing ruins the mood more than being with a partner who’s reminiscent of a deer in the headlights.  Learning to relax might be the most difficult obstacle to overcome on your path to sexual studliness.  But she will be able to tell if you’re tense and trying too hard to please her. So it’s important to take a deep breath, loosen your shoulders and just enjoy yourself. 

Be prepared to take direction

Chances are, she knows what she likes so she’ll be willing to point you in the right direction once you get going. Try not to take this as a critique of how things are going but an opportunity to really please her.  So if she says something along the lines of “I’d love you to [insert verb] my [insert anatomical noun].” Then replying with “Mmmm, I’ve always wanted to do that to you...”  Rather than “Um, ok” will sound much better in your favour.

The best way to become more self-assured about your sexual prowess is to practise! (Which is hardly a punishment!) Take the opportunity of being with a more sexually experienced woman as an exciting teacher-student scenario full of great learning potential.

Take Care, Sarah Gibson at www.sexgear.co.nz

P.S. If there’s anything about sex that you’d like to ask, or a discussion you’d like to start just email me info@sg.co.nz and I’ll do my best to write about it for you here at getfrank.co.nz

 






 
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  • WML says
    "Touch her like you mean it"

    I cannot agree more on this point. The number of times I've been complimented by doing something like I mean it, be it kissing, touching - anything, really gets women going. They know you're present, and in it for the experience, not just to get off.

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