Anal Sex: Dos and Don'ts

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

Anal sex; people are really doing it. Believe it or not, it is a regular feature in some kiwi bedrooms, and it’s certainly not the sexual taboo that it once was. If you’re curious about experimenting with ‘the backdoor’ then these dos and don’ts should help you and your partner on your way.

The Kiss

Do use lube, lube and more lube
When it comes to anal sex there is no such thing as too much lube. Unlike the vagina the anus is not self-lubricating, so plenty of silicone or water-based lubricant is essential. It helps the penis to glide into the anal passage, creating a safer and more comfortable experience for you both. There are specifically designed anal lubes available on the market; but any personal lubricant will do. Silicone lubricants are particularly good for anal sex because they don’t dry out and last much longer than the water-based equivalent.

Do use protection
They may ride bareback in the movies, but did you know that the spread of STDs is more likely with anal penetration than vaginal? That’s because the skin in and around the anus is thinner and more prone to little cuts and tears – which in turn allows infections into the body. So do use protection when going in the backdoor.

Do build up to it
Hopefully you ‘warm your partner up’ with foreplay before vaginal sex; you should do the same with anal sex and build up to the main event. Try inserting a well-lubed fingertip or narrow sex toy into your partner, allowing the muscles to gradually relax and dilate before taking things up a notch and penetrating her with your penis. Remember, you’re not trying to stretch the anal opening, but allow it to expand slowly, to accommodate more girth.
Don’t force it
Never hurry or force anal sex. Strictly speaking, the anus was not designed for penetration, so things may be a little uncomfortable for your partner at first. Let her call the shots on how hard, how deep and how fast your movements should be; and if she says stop, not matter how good it may feel, you need to stop immediately. If you want anal sex more than once then you are going to need to take it slowly at first.

Don’t penetrate elsewhere afterward

In porn movies the girls love a bit of ATM action. But do not try this move on your real life girlfriend. It’s gross and will totally obliterate your chances of ever having anal sex with her again – if it doesn’t end your relationship first. In fact, you shouldn’t penetrate another part of her body (i.e. mouth or vagina) directly after anal insertion. The butt contains bacteria that can cause infection or irritation if transferred to another part of the body; so be sure to wash the penis thoroughly with soap and water before reinserting it elsewhere.

Done right, anal sex can feel amazing; but as with anything, it takes practice. If you do decide to give it a go then keep these dos and don’ts in mind. And remember to be gentle and patient, take your time and enjoy the thrill of exploring something new!

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  • Steff S says
    and if the backdoor is locked? you've checked under the mat, but the key isn't there...
    • Gibbo at says
    • Marley says
      Bit of a good read if you interested in that sort of thing and wanna try it out! You don't read this sort of thing in Cosmo!! ha ha.
    • Mike says
      Dont lick your fingers!
    • skoota68 says
      I wanna win a WEBCAM so my friends can watch!
    • Sea Dogg says
      Lol this page is hilarious!
    • barnes10 says
      I asked my wife for some Anal sex and she said yes HOWEVER I had to put the handle of her hair brush up my bum first! WTF??? still haven't tried it...sigh
      • JasonMantis says
        I'd say go for it, she might just find your P spot!
      • Prettyboy says
        I've only tried Anal sex once and I must say it hurt like hell!!!!! LMAO....only joking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honest.
        • Prettyboy says
          Honest!!!! I have never had it done to me!!!!!!!

          • Gibbo at says
            Thou doth protest to much ;-) LOL
          • georgia says
            I want to know if this anal sex thing do girls really enjoy it or is it really for the guy? I have been told by a guy that girls get a lot of pleasure in this anal sex thing. But what I don't get the same guy goes for an annual check up and does not like the finger up his ass. So how can he think his penis should feel good to me if He doesn't like something much smaller up his.
            • JasonMantis says
              I had a girlfriend once that used to have the most amazing orgasms through anal sex so sure, it can be enjoyable.
              As for having a doctor put his finger up there, I don't think she would have orgasmed then! For so many guys it presses their homophobia buttons, i.e if you like anything being inserted into your rectum you are somehow gay. Keep educating Sarah, and don't forget that article on multiple orgasms for men!!
            • DeeDee says
     should really probe the other areas before tapping the back door else you will not see any action anywhere else after bj's or frontal action if the jewels have been getting some back door action I agree with Sarah really the back door should be the last area you tap......I doubt any women would give a man a blow job after he has packed
              • shiny says
                the only thing i'd be packing would be my bags if i tried sneaking one in the back door even if i used the 'oh sorry i didn't realise line'
                • DeeDee says
         funny...I reckon and I am being straight up that if guys like to go there then guys should let women go their on them with some sex toys or something just to even it up a bit...hahaha...and see what the response would be then...just saying
                  • Bells-n-Whistles says
                    Step away from the Toy!
                    • Onaphobia says
                      Totes agree with you Deedee! Can't say I've found any guys who have been keen for that yet. Well, maybe one... but he was gay...
                      • DeeDee says
                        ...that's just the point though aye Fiona they all wanna get their doggy on but if the role was reverse they would think what the hell is wrong with this gotta love they know not what they
                      • "After he has packed it..." Where is your entry into the poetry thread, eh??
                        • DeeDee says
                          ...LMAO!...I have more where that comes biding my time....:-)
                          • JasonMantis says
                            Ha! I'm holding my breath hun, I want action!
                            • DeeDee says
                    'd better breath cause your eyes will really be bulging in your profile pic if you don't......and as for action I am women and ye shall wait...lmao! why because us ladies can.....

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