Just in time for that hot night of loving you have planned for Valentines, we’ve put together the top ten must-know secrets for guys to keep their gals satisfied.

1. It’s safer at the shallow end. What I mean by this is that, evidence suggests, the outer third of the vagina is the most sensitive, so deep thrusting isn’t essential  - at least not for her! Instead, try ‘dipping’ the tip of your member in and out of her vagina.  

2. There are more than two erogenous zones. Yes the breasts and pubic area are obvious hot-spots but they get a lot hotter when stimulated in conjunction with other areas. Try kissing and gently stroking her neck, back, stomach and inner thighs.

3. Women are slow burners. For women, good sex takes time. Women are also more emotional lovers. So dedicating 10-15 minutes prior to sex, cuddling, kissing and holding your partner will be infinitely more successful at getting her aroused than spending a frustrating 5 minutes rubbing an unresponsive clitoris.   

4. Tell her how great she looks. And mean it. On the whole, women don’t love to be naked. The second her clothes come off she feels vulnerable and sensitive. When she undresses, tell her what you love about her body.  And if she tries to turn the lights off, turn them back on to show her she has nothing to be embarrassed about.

5. Assume the right position. Yes, the pieces of the puzzle will always go together but there are certain tricks that will help make sure they are the perfect fit. By simply sliding a pillow under her bottom while you enter her, you bring her clitoris and g-spot into better contact with you.

6. You should both finish the race. As already mentioned, women take time to climax. Men, however, are much quicker. Orgasmically speaking, she is the tortoise to your hare. So if you climax first, no matter how tired you are, you’re responsible for helping her over the finish line. The best tactic? Head south with your mouth.

7.  Talk to her. This doesn’t mean you need to launch into a running commentary on your love-making, but break the silence/moaning every now and again with some arousing words. Women love communication from men, including in the bedroom.  Occasionally mention why you love doing what you are doing to her, ask her what she wants you to do next, or throw in the guaranteed winner ... “I just can’t get enough of you...” Best said in a husky, breathless voice.

8. Be clean. Just as you’re more inspired to indulge her in some oral action when you know she’s just washed, women are also more turned on by a tidy man. Seeing you showered, shaven, smelling good with a clean t-shirt on and with freshly brushed teeth is like foreplay to her.

9. Aim for G-Spot Orgasm. Only 30% of women have ever reached a g-spot climax, and 100% of women want to experience this unknown ecstasy.  So if you’re the guy who helps her to get there, you’ll forever be seen as a sex god in her eyes. The best technique to achieve this is to use a curved finger or g-spot toy.

10. Enjoy Oral Sex. Yes she can tell when you flinch or seem hesitant about going down on her. But even if it isn’t your favourite thing to do, it’s the best way for most women to reach orgasm, so you’ll have to learn to enjoy it. Because when she’s happy, you’re happy, right?

Take Care, Sarah Gibson at www.sexgear.co.nz

P.S. If there’s anything about sex that you’d like to ask, or a discussion you’d like to start just email me info@sg.co.nz and I’ll do my best to write about it for you here at getfrank.co.nz