When Your Glass Is Half Full

You've heard about oiling the squeaky wheel? It's often a pretty fair description of how we approach our close relationships, taking the bits we like for granted and dwelling on the bits that don't suit us so well.

Saigonese Water Glasses

Have you ever wondered how different life might be if you spent more time enjoying the good times in relationships and less time chewing over the problems?
When was the last time you told someone about how much you enjoy just chatting with your partner, or how happy your kids make you, or how your parent's concern feels loving, or how much you value your close friends? There will be good things in all those relationships, but the chances are that having a grizzle is more familiar than talking about the ordinary, everyday successes.

It's not about ignoring problems, or blindly hoping they'll go away if you don't notice them. It's about noticing the ways your relationships add to your life. What you pay attention to defines how your life feels to you. If you focus on problems, than that's what you'll be aware of and your life will feel tough.

If you focus on what works, what's going well, you're likely to find that your glass is nearly always half full. You'll probably find life seems pretty good a lot of the time.

You might want to focus on the strengths in relationships, and to build on those strengths. Whether you're thinking about partners, or parents and children, or friends, the more you notice and appreciate the things that work in your relationship, the more the relationship will grow.

Appreciating the aspects of success in your relationship is encouraging. You feel well motivated to keep working for success. Rather than pretending problems don't exist, it may make it more possible to tackle problems together. Instead of focusing on the problem and who is to blame, you can focus on co-operating with each other to invent solutions and try them out.

Relationships don't come with guarantees, and a strengths based approach to relationships isn't a magic formula for happy ever after. It is an attitude that increases your chances of developing the positive qualities in a relationship and of really enjoying the enjoyable parts.

This approach helps to build more resilient relationships. It doesn't mean they will always last, but it does mean that problems tend to stay in proportion. Instead of isolating you from each other, your awareness of good feeling and trust in your relationship isolates the problems.

An appreciative way of seeing your relationships can transform them. So if you want to put more zing into your important relationships focusing on what works might be worth a try.

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  • Hotsacks says
    Very true!
    I shall apply this everyday to my relationship like lube.

  • Rosie says
    that's something to think about. thanks :)
  • shiny says
    nice read...success breeds success
  • DeeDee says
    good article....I like to believe in focusing on the positives in a relationship, cause the dramas...tend to put a wedge in them...I also think, being the youngest in my family I have seen the dramas and also the good times in my siblings relationships, and those have made me aware of what it takes to make a relationship work...

    ...So I do my best to focus on the positives and not dwell on stupid issues and it is great that we both communicate so well with each other....in our relationship I am probably my own worse enemy as I still have commitment issues, have always had problems with committing to someone....not in regard to cheating on them hell no....just the seriousness of commitment yes I know sounds weird...lol but my current boyfriend I have been with the longest so may be I am starting to relax a little....lol

    ....Anyway made my hubby breakfast this morning in bed just cause I could.....so take it from me even people who have commitment issues if they work on their relationship and talk to each other more openly, that builds and maintains a strong bond...then that is a beautiful thing...hehehe
  • Wice says
    Same thing works well with kids. Praise them when they're good. Let them know it makes you happy! Works wonders!
  • mccart says

    my name is mccart i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com, she is a woman and she is great
  • Half empty people always whine about what they don't have....#$^&#@!
    Half full people appreciate there is a drink.

    Remember the glass is always full even if the top half is air. l'm just happy l've got a glass.

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