First date, how to play it

Are you the sort of guy who never gets lucky? It doesn't matter how romantic the restaurant or how stunning the sunset, every date you go on ends with a peck on the cheek and the news that you're "just like a brother"

You can't understand it. You meet these great girls, you pluck up the courage to ask them out and they obviously like you enough to say yes. But by the end of the evening whatever attraction they may have felt has melted down into nothing more than friendship.

You don't know where you're going wrong.

But I do.

You see, while you may instantly like the looks of someone, genuine attraction takes a little longer to form. Connections are based on more than a nice suit and some good manners, and if all you've got to offer is pleasant conversation you're never going to get a girl excited.

But I'm here to help. There are all sorts of tricks you can use to get and keep a girl's attention, and I'm about to tell you some of the best.

Remember that the first date is like an audition. Whether you're after one night of fun or something more long term, you need to convince this chick that you know how to treat her right. Hold doors open for her, take her coat, and insist upon footing the bill. Don't compliment her upon her physical attributes, but do admire her clothes, her choice of wine or her graceful way of walking.

Make your body language work for you. If you don't seem sure you deserve her attention, she'll become certain you don't. Present yourself as a calm and confident man by maintaining eye contact, resisting the urge to fiddle, and talking in a low, clear tone.

Listen to what she's saying and be genuine with your reactions. Girls can spot a fake grin a mile off, so keep your smiles and your laughter natural. Look for common interests and shared beliefs; being able to enthuse about the same films, music or sports will create an instant connection.

More importantly, keep the conversation light hearted. You want her to view you as a source of fun, not her new confidant, so if she starts to share her worries and woes with you steer the conversation back onto happier topics. Likewise, keep your own dilemmas to yourself - neurotic men do not come across as sexy; mysterious men do.

There's little more attractive to a woman than knowing you're really into her, but rather than simply blurting it out, use a few clever body language tricks to let her know you like her. Turn your shoulders and knees so you're fully facing her, glance at her lips and, if there's a table between you, place your hands on top of it. Find excuses to reach out and touch her. Start by brushing your hand against hers when you're emphasizing a point. As the night goes on, touch her arm and, later, her knee. She'll soon start thinking about other forms of physical contact with you.

There's a fine line between friendly conversation and effective flirting. By following the tips above, you can keep on the right side of it and grab her attention. Keep the evening fun, the talk upbeat and your focus firmly upon her, and you can ensure that you need never end another date by agreeing to just be friends.

Want to learn 50 WAYS for approaching, attracting and seducing women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson's Free eBook which provides 50 tips for instant dating success.

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