Reading her Sexual Body Language

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

nullTis the season of the office hook-up. The boss has opened the petty cash drawer, there’s champagne and canapés a-flowing and everyone’s on a high that Summer and Christmas will soon release them from the chains that usually strap them to their desks. You’ve just finished politely laughing at the $2 shop gift your office Secret Santa gave you and think it might be time to make your move on Amy from Sales.  You’ve had your eye on her since the team building event in August and she’s had at least two glasses of champers – that’s all you need right?

Wrong. There is very little more embarrassing than making an ass out of yourself at the Work Christmas Do by hitting on the chick that clearly isn’t into you. Actually there is something more embarrassing... Facing her (and your other colleagues who witnessed the fateful event) the next day. And then having to deal with the nickname put upon you by the office larrikin, that will undoubtedly catch on, like Rejected Roger, Struck Out Stu or Gary-Got-No-Game.

So how do you know that conditions are right to make your move? Simple. Just read the signs. We complicated female creatures are constantly displaying (emphasis on this next word) subtle signs that we like what you got. And we use our bodies to do this. All you need to do is learn how to read them.  During initial flirting you are looking for ‘Open Gestures’.  These are body movements that that indicate she is warm to the idea of getting to know you.  ‘Closed Gestures’ like crossed arms (unless it’s cold), leaning back, and having her legs crossed and pointed away from you are all good indicators you should give up and move on.

So sidle up to Amy with a glass of champagne. When you offer it to her, be sure to make eye contact for 2-3 seconds. When she looks away, check to see if she makes any nervous gestures like playing with her hair, fixing her clothes, or fiddling with the glass in her hand. If she seems nervous, it means you’ve unsettled her and that, in turn, means she cares what you think of her, i.e. she likes you! To confirm this, check out her body stance. Try to do this in a non-pervy way (yes we do notice when you do the full-body-is-she-hot-scan).  If her shoulders are directed towards you, that’s another positive sign. If she is also leaning forward, into you, when she’s speaking, you’ve got it made.

After that, if things go exceedingly well, and a sleepover ensues, you also have to make sure that your post-coital reputation stays intact. Because when Rachel in Marketing finds out that Amy stayed at yours, they will be nipping out for a coffee at morning tea to talk about you. And you know what Rachel’s like – she’ll be giving your boss the de-brief before lunch. Thankfully body language cues can give you good direction in the bedroom too.


It’s important to know that Amy is enjoying herself. Because if she’s not, it would be wise to switch to a different move. Luckily there are some obvious signs she’ll display if she’s having fun. The first pleasure sign to look out for is some rapid breathing. Just prior to orgasm, the body requires more oxygen. Women achieve this by breathing in quick, shallow, panting breaths. So if she’s breathing calmly and slowing, change your tact. And although it might be a little late to redeem yourself it is also a good way to tell if she faked it. Because if her breathing returns very quickly to normal after the big ‘O’ she probably didn’t even have a little ‘o’.

The second sign? It’s in her hips.  If she is moving her hips up to meet you, and most importantly, if she’s thrusting them in time with you, then she’s a happy little camper. Good sex is usually synchronized between the two partners because it’s biologically effective that you both reach orgasm at the same time. But if her hip movement is more limp than Lambada, she’s getting nothing out of it. At this point, is time to go back to the beginning and try using your hands or mouth to warm her up a little.

And finally, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Her vaginal wall is a very strong muscle and is naturally responsive to sexual stimulation, especially when it’s good. As she builds up to, and during orgasm, the muscle walls will contract and spasm. If you don’t feel her clenching against you, it’s not the end of the world. Some women have more control over this than others. Instead try to notice if she has let you enter her a little deeper as this is also a good sign that she’s getting close to orgasm.

Don’t forget - we’re giving Get Frank readers 10% off everything online at for a limited time. Simply enter the voucher code: FRANK when prompted at the checkout and receive 10% off your order. Offer ends November 14th.

Take Care, Sarah at

P.S. If there’s anything about sex that you’d like to ask, or a discussion you’d like to start just email me and I’ll do my best to write about it for you here at Or try using our adult’s only forum at





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  • Bonita says
    Ahhhh all the body language in the world hasnt landed me a date for quite some time!! Maybe I need to try a few moves to snag the man of my dreams!
  • Simon says
    Lol @ Bonita.

    I think the beginning half of this article is true not just for the dating scene but even otherwise.

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