Friends with benefits


In this new age of “it’s ok to be single” do we still desire having someone in our lives?
One of the friends of lovingtouch mentioned that she was now looking for a FB (a friend with benefits sort of guy). I started to wonder if this was a normal thing for women my age to have in their lives and after asking a few of my single mates have they or were they considering doing this.
I was surprised that a few of my friends, male and female, have.
IMG_3125

So I started thinking about the possibilities, how would I find someone to fit that role, hypothetically speaking. I started looking at all my male mates as a possibility. I love them dearly but it would be like sleeping with a relative. Then I set up a profile on a well known website and started looking for a FB. I had lots of interesting conversations with much younger men about the possibilities. That’s a whole different article “men looking for older women” Anyway, after a few days I deleted the profile and decided that internet dating or FB hunting wasn’t my thing. 
So back to the friends of lovingtouch, we started to talk about the pros and cons of this type of relationship.
Physical intimacy was the driving force; they didn’t want to have a relationship with their FB. They liked the person and were physically attracted to them BUT did not want a relationship with them.
I could see the benefit of knowing that you had one person who you could rely on to push your buttons in a positive way. Someone being available for sexing when you needed it. Someone that you could recharge the banks of intimacy with without commitment. But do we become emotionally unavailable because we have our physical needs met? 
At what point does an FB becomes someone that you think you might like to be in a relationship with?
The sex is just that “great SEX” then something starts to happen. You start thinking of this person as someone to have around in your life a little bit more , you start to fantasize about having that person as a little more as an F.B. Then you start asking questions. “Are you seeing anyone else?”
You wait with baited breath for the answer, then start questioning why you have asked this of them when you knew that the relationship was only a sexual one.
There is a fine line between being in a relationship with an FB and not. After all having sex with someone is extremely intimate and it is difficult to remove your self away emotionally from that person especially when the sex is great and you can talk about the most intimate desires with this person.
My conclusion to the FB topic was, if you can find someone to have sexy times with and you want NO commitment, and then go for it…. But be aware you might start to fall for this person or he/she might start to fall for you. It could resemble a bunny in a pot type of relationship! If you don’t know what I am talking about watch the movie fatal attraction…

 
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