Discussions EarlyRiser is involved in
I'd love to see the Irish win this year. Spread it round, and all that.
I'm actually quite surprised by the ups and downs on the scoreboard lately. I totally didn't expect NZ to win so strongly against Japan, or Australia to go down to Ireland. It's worse than trying to pick a racing horse to win. Mind you, I've lost a fortune on backing the hot favourites, only to watch them come fourth, so these scores can't totally be unexpected. We are all human after all - and fallable to the core.
I love it when Graham Henry says things like "we had a few mistakes to learn from" or "we have some things to work on." LOL, we've been playing the game for 100 years, yet we keep making new mistakes. I don't think so. :) More about The best Rugby Team does not always win Rugby World Cup.
That's because they won. ;) More about Sick of the Moaners and Whingers? I am.
I remember when Dan Carter joined the All Blacks. He played brilliantly right from the get go. An instant star. Colin Slade stuffed up at the beginning of the Japan game, but he really brought it back as the game progressed. I think we've just been spoilt by Dan, and we're expecting Colin to be as good as him. It's just not going to happen. As a goal kicker, I think he'll do us proud eventually. More about Is Colin Slade the Back-up 1st Five for Daniel Carter?
It's a critical world we live in these days. Anyone in the spotlight is ripe for some good old fashioned self-righteous judgement. We rarely live up to our own ideals, but it doesn't stop us from telling someone else off for not living up to them. I'd actually like someone to stand up to the criticism and tell us all to mind our own business. "Practice what you preach," and all that. I hate it when everyone bows down to public pressure. I don't blame Zac though. He's too young to know any better. More about Zac Guildford
That Chelsey forum entry was probably created for young women, who haven't yet realised that the perfect man doesn't exist. It sounds like a dream list. I gave up on my dream list of the perfect woman twenty years ago when I realised that the beautiful ones were shallow and the less-fortunate ones were the ones who I could have a heart to heart with. I think it comes down to how hard life is and how much negative you have to overcome that dictates who you are on the inside. Helen Clark is at the bottom of my dream list, but I have nothing but admiration for her as a person, and would really enjoy her company. I think it really is just the young girls who are fussy. They get better with age and experience. More about Crikey Girls are fussy!
It's my experience that the family unit has become small and insular these days. Having open relationships, with lots of friends who come over regularly to visit, seems to be a thing of the past. So when a man and woman get together in a serious relationship, they seek (perhaps the woman more than the man) to separate themselves from others and work solely on their own relationship (as if it needs all their effort to keep it going). Again, it's just my experience and may not be what others experience, but all my female friends, once they've found their Mr. Right, they just didn't have much time for me anymore. Perhaps it's just the stress of life, and people just want to settle down as quickly as they can and get into the routine of married (or defacto) life.
Maybe single people are just meant to have single friends and married people are meant to have married friends. At least that way, if you're married, the man has a man friend, and the woman has a woman friend, and jelousy won't be an issue.
Being single, I hate it just as much as you do. We need a non-single person's perspective. More about Male/Female friendships
Funny, I was out walking this morning and walked past two drunk girls. One of them stopped me and asked me what I thought was more important - love or sex. My heart immediately popped up and said 'love'. I don't think she was expecting that answer as she seemed disappointed - perhaps I just didn't take her side in her disagreement with her friend. They were young so I guess she's only really experienced guys who put sex first. I would have put sex first when I was young too. But now that I'm older I've come to realise that love is so illusive. As well as that, sex only lasts for a short while, but love last as long as you want it too. More about What men want
It's really easy, outside of the experience, to say that 'No means No, and Yes means Yes' (if only our hearts were that black and white), but in application there can be a big grey area as to what is what. Firstly, if you're talking just about sex, rape is wrong, and anyone who forces a 'No' to somehow make it a 'Yes' has lost his humanity (if he ever had it). If we're talking about romantic intimacy (access to the heart), a lot of emotional foreplay can be involved, and sometimes a push is necessary to illicit the desired response. All going well, these little pushes are usually welcomed, as long as they remain playful. When you're being romantic, your heart is open, and these pushes are all part of breaking down our individual emotional barriers. Romance ensures that they are subtle, and in no way meant to hurt. But it's a wise man who realises when he's getting nowhere and retreats before he gets a very definite 'No' thrown in his direction. But again, retreat can also be seen as the wrong move, and you may find yourself being called back to take the challenge again, especially if she knows you're getting close. That's romance for you. There are many paths to success, and No can sometimes mean No, but it can also mean 'I need more help to open up' or simply 'I'm enjoying the game and I want you to keep trying.' More about Does yes mean no and no mean yes?
I think women are smarter than men by always wanting to know where things are heading. Men (young men particularly) don't necessarily care about the future, as long as things are going well right now. There's a lot to be said for going with the flow. It's easier, and one can have faith that if it was meant to be then it would be. But blind faith rarely works. I guess we all have to grow up sometime. Some men wake up during a mid-life crisis, realising that things haven't worked out as well as they'd hoped, simply because they didn't wise up and apply some direction to their lives, but just let it slowly work its way into the toilet instead. I'm convinced men need women, just as much as women need men - we complete each other, by making up for each others weaknesses.
Anyway, back to you - I'd be honest (it is the best policy after all) and tell him that you have hopes for the future and need to be able to see that your life is heading in the right direction. You don't have to scare him off by planning out his future for him, but you can ensure that he, at least, has similar intentions to you. I would hate for any woman to be in a relationship for many years only to, one day, find out that her partner has discovered his destiny, and it's in a different direction to hers. He wouldn't see it as a waste of time, as he got what he wanted out of the relationship, which were the good times spent together (since he wasn't after anything more), but she would, since she probably had their future together all planned out.
With the cheating issue, tell him that his 'ex' is not you, and you are nothing like her. He needs to get that clear in his head, otherwise he will never fully trust you, and when things get tough, like during an argument, he may bring those feelings out and actually expect you to cheat on him, and, worse, treat you accordingly. All hurts and mistrusts like this need to be healed. That's what building a relationship is all about.
Also, the thing about men not talking about their emotions, it's normally because men don't understand them. Given enough negative emotions, and they may also decide that they don't want to know them. I think society has really let men down in this area. It teaches them how to make a buck, but how to form a relationship is something usually left to parents or religion. A woman who subtly helps a man to understand himself is a Godsend as far as I'm concerned, an angel even.
And the right time? It's when you're ready to sort it out - not him. Good luck! More about When is the right time?
I think a lot of people are confused between love and emotion. Love, in and of itself, must be pure, otherwise it's not love, and probably just an emotion. I have a theory that love is actually the absence of emotion. In other words, it's what we felt when we were born, before all the emotional upset (hurt, distrust, fear, hate, paranoia) and their emotional opposites (like, faith, trust, hope, longing) filled the space that love existed in as we grew up. Sadly, when these emotions emerge within us they never leave us - we're stuck with them, so we can never return to the innocence that we were born with (unconditional love). I see people sometimes love others (when things are really going well in their lives), but mostly they live in a state of longing and of fear of losing the good things that they have, so their love becomes highly conditional. It's the world we live in that keeps us in this state, since innocent love isn't a very big part of it (except when we have a newly born baby in our family). The rest of the time we just lust for things to fill the void (sex, technology, entertainment). More about What is your definition of love?
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