Discussing :: If your having doubts in a relationship should you keep trying or bail out?

#1

miesje1
If your having doubts in a relationship should you keep trying or bail out?

Just a few doubts and couldnt picture myself marrying the person what to do?

#2

New Member

Bail out now. Catch the next train to hopeville and hope you find something better. You feeling me?. Go now, don't wait..... :Pukana.

#3

mrossco

In this case, it doesn't even matter where exactly are you in this relationship?!

1.At the beginning: if you already have doubts, what are you still waiting for? A miracle?

2.After a year/few years: After this time you can't imagine marrying her? What are you waiting for?! A miracle?

#4

DeeDee

...if you are having serious doubts then I always find open communication helps a lot....you don't want to leave and then regret it later or you don't want to stay in it when their is nothing to save....I think you really need to think over it talk to your partner about how you are feeling and then decide....stuff like this can eat away at someone and can usually progress into the relationship affecting you both because...more than often the other partner will know something is up....their must be a reason you are still in the relationship and if that makes you happy then find out what is not working and fix it with your partner if you find after a time it isn't fix and you are not happy then maybe walking away is the best for both of you, but don't do it on a whim....

#5

Onaphobia

Hard to say not knowing what the doubts are, but if you have them now, it's not going to get better after you're married. Then every time you have a doubt you'll think "God, and I'm stuck with this forever!"

#6

Phield

Just make sure that you know what you are really feeling. If you're just hanging in there for the sex move on, you'll only feel like an arsehole and end up with an enemy if you drag it out.

#7

Onaphobia

And don't fall into staying because of familiarity, or it's easier to stay than leave. Or I don't want to be alone. There are worse things than being alone!


thochaos

I've just ended an 8 year relationship that honestly should have ended 8 years ago. Pretty much because of the first two reasons above. Now things are so complicated it's going to be tough to get out cleanly, especially with a young daughter.
But it needed to happen and I'm glad it has.


Onaphobia

Yeah, sometimes it seems easier to stay than leave, but in the long run happiness is more important. Not just yours, but your partners, and your children(s).

I'm a utilitarian, which means I try to choose the act which brings about the greatest amount of happiness for the greatest amount of people involved. And I do realise this means I get to decide about other people's level of happiness, which probably isn't really an exact science, but, hey, one does ones best, right? :)

#8

lr

If you don't picture yourself with that person in 1, 2 or 10 years what's the point? unless you are happy with short term relationships but most of us are looking for the one and you definitely will not find them if you are busy in another relationship. Set both of you free.

#9

shiny

We all have doubts with in any relationship. If these are little nagging doubts prob ok to keep trying but if these are big issue doubts like 'will they kick the drug habit' or 'will they stop roughing me up' then definitely time to bail.
No relationship is straight forward...best of luck :)

#10

Ginaaaa

It depends on alot of things, how long youve been together and exactly what it is that your doubting. You owe it to yourself and your partner to air these concerns. If afterwards your still not happy, then leave. At least try.

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