Talking Tantric Sex

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

American Pie, Sex and the City and other feature films have referenced it, Sting and sex therapists are raving about it, people everywhere are talking about it, but what is Tantric Sex? In this article I will give you the low-down on this new (or maybe not so new) phenomenon. If you are ready to give this well-kept secret a go, keep reading for my quick-start guide.

Crossed fingers III

What is Tantric Sex?

Tantric sex utilises the ancient Eastern practices of Tantra, using breath, sounds and movements to activate sexual energy. It is said to bring you and your partner’s sex life to greater states of sensual pleasure and intimacy. Tantric sex is different from other well-known practices, such as Kama Sutra, as it is not solely based on sex positions but is a whole new way of life. The focus is not on achieving multiple or even quick orgasms, but in fact the complete opposite, its aim is to prolong the act of sex thus increasing the sexual energy between you and your partner.

So if you want to experience a powerful flow of energy and intimacy between you and your partner, decreased stress and greater sexual satisfaction, here are some helpful hints.

1 Create ‘intimacy space’

For you to really focus on the techniques of tantric sex you need to be comfortable.  So it is important to create an area that is comfy, playful and relaxing. The first step is to remove any attention-grabbing objects from the area- and yes this does include your cell phone! Next decorate the room with calming items such as flowers, flower petals, scented candles, oils or incense. If your area includes your bed make sure you have comfy sheets and lots of pillows. Lastly and perhaps most importantly chose a soundtrack of calming music, that you and your partner enjoy, to play quietly in the background.

2. Position yourselves

Sit in what is called the ‘yab-yom position,’ this involves the lighter partner straddling the others lap – if you find this position uncomfortable or hard to achieve try using our handy Inflatable Position Master. Synchronize your breathing, it is a simple but effective way to get in tune with your partner. While you inhale, your partner exhales, and vice versa - in essence exchanging air and sending your loving energy into each other.

3. Eye Gazing

 This is a fundamental technique practiced in the art of Tantra and can lead to powerful experiences. Align your energy centers by facing your partner, standing, sitting in the yab-yom position or lying down. Look into each other’s eyes, in particular the left eye as this is the receiving eye. Receive your partner’s eye gaze in full and make note of any feelings that come up. The more you practice this technique the more comfortable you will be gazing for long periods of time allowing you to overcome any insecurities.

4. Pace yourselves

The aim of Tantric Sex is to take things nice and slow. The longer the build up to sex the more able men are to control their longevity, and it also intensifies a women’s arousal. As a result when you do get down-to-business you will experience a higher state of pleasure and intimacy than ever before.

If this article has you intrigued and you want to learn more about Tantric Sex and its practices The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex is a great beginner’s book and will teach you everything you need to know to experience its amazing benefits.

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  • DeeDee says
    ...Tantric Sex is great to heightening one's partner and I have been to a few workshops for Tantric sex in Australia and found them really informative, interesting and very passionately intimate IMHO....I encourage anyone who is curious to go for is a great experience and is nothing smutty or gross....these workshops made us see each other in a whole different way and made our intimacy even closer and I loved the relaxing approach to it.....
  • I was ok until it mentioned "pace yourself", can't you come back for second & thirds. lol
  • DeeDee says its all about the experience....pacing yourself allows that experience to be in a sense you are coming back many times....
  • Onaphobia says
    Boy, there's an Idiots Guide for everything!

    I was married to a monk for a while, and he was keen on tantric sex, but the relationship didn't really last long enough to get enough practice to really appreciate it. I had a great book on it that I carried around for about 15 years, but recently I decided I was never going to meet someone who would be as interested in it as me so I got rid of it.

  • shiny says
    i'm sure your mean't to read the book fi not carry it around for 15yrs...or use it for an elevated
  • Flashgg says
    ....Wow man skip the bull...... touch and feel has to be one of man's most natural abilities it's kinda called bonding(not to be mistaken with bondage) . I so honestly can't see anything different. I get the build up draw it out for as long as possible brings on the ultimate pleasure for you and partner.....but seems so long winded...Might try the breathing technique might help with my snoring......
    • DeeDee says
      ...have you actually tried Tantric sex with your partner? for it being one of man's natural abilities you do jest? fumbling hands more like do you know unless you have tried? its not all about making it last long....hello....I first thought it was total BS and only tried it after one of my friends begged my partner and I to go with her and her partner as they were nervous about doing it with others, so my bf and I went (well I dragged him along) thinking we would get a good laugh out of it and it was an awesome experience and we went back a couple of more times too....and this is from an athletic guy who plays rugby league and is a man's man and he thought it was this day I still can't believe he came along and enjoyed them.....

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