Sex with Restraints

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

As sexual beings we are naturally curious about experimenting with new sensations and types of stimulation. Perhaps that’s why sexual restraints are so popular in kiwi bedrooms. The combination of pleasure, pain and power is simply too tempting and exciting for the sexually adventurous to resist. If you’re curious about power play then read on. This week we’re taking a closer look at sex with restraints.

you bestow your hands


Relinquish Control

There's something sultry and exciting about power play. The submissive partner enjoys handing over control which leads to feelings of vulnerability, anticipation and eagerness all at the same time. While the dominant partner enjoys the feeling of complete trust and the thrill of power over their lover.  Sex with restraints can be as simple as one partner holding the other down.  But there are a whole range of products available to assist with this kind of sex. From the innocent silk scarf right through to full body restraints.


If you are new to restraints then it’s a good idea to start out at the tamer end of the spectrum when it comes to choosing your accessories. Try restraints that allow you to easily break out of them. That way you’ll be able to focus on the fantasy rather than worrying about how you’ll escape if things don’t go to plan.

This leads onto the next point. It’s vital that both you and your partner trust each other before engaging in sex with restraints. If you are letting someone tie you up then you need to be sure that they’ll release you as and when you want to be released. Or, that they won’t do things that will make you feel uncomfortable. Similarly, if you are tying someone up you don’t want them freaking-out during the session.  It’s a good idea to make an agreement with your partner about how far you want to go before you start - and consider the use of safe signals and stop words.


Intermediate users may want to take the level of kink up a notch and experiment props like under the bed restraints-  or even better, a sex swing.  These accessories are a really fun way to spice up your sex life and add some variety.


If you’ve been there are done that with regards to sexual restraints, then consider upping the ante and getting creative with ropes, masks or gags. And why not get dressed up? Bring out your leather, lingerie and boots; it all adds to the sexiness of the occasion.

Power play isn’t for everyone, so if your partner isn’t keen then don’t force this issue. But if you are lucky enough to have an obliging partner, sex with restraints can result in an amazing level of arousal. So find that silk scarf or set of cuffs and enjoy the creativity and role-play that is all part of this sexual act.

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