It’s not likely to win you the Employee of the Month Award but nevertheless sex in the workplace is a fantasy for many. And as your dedicated sex columnist, I am honour-bound to give you the best advice for making your fantasies a reality. So here’s the Sexgear guide for helping you to get that work bonus that your boss needn’t know about.
You’ve got mail
While you can still get caught, if you keep your intimate office acts strictly electronic, the embarrassment factor is a lot lower than being found pants-down . Sending sexy messages over email with a colleague can be a good substitute for getting physical on top of the photocopier. The written word allows you and your chosen workmate to express your feelings in detail and the instant messaging means you can get quite the rhythm going. Plus, with the huge selection of emoticons to choose from, you can really get your point across. At the very least, you’ll give your IT guy something to read on his lunch break.
If you do decide to venture outside the virtual world and get hot and heavy in the office itself then location can make a big difference. An often unexplored office space is the elevator. The time restriction means that you have to perfect the art of frantic quickie sex to avoid an awkward scene with those waiting patiently on the ground floor. This rushed and rampant sex, mixed with the fear of getting caught will give you an adrenalin buzz second to none. So as long as you’re not turned off by elevator music, it’s worth trying out.
This location is a little obvious so is strictly for those that have after-hours access. Because that’s what they gave you the key for right? The swivel chair is great because it’s comfortable and the twisting capabilities open you both up to a whole new range of motion. If you are a little uncertain about the movement, push the chair up against a wall to stabilize it until you get the hang of it.
Partner in Crime
The most important thing to remember when engaging in workplace relations is that niggling sexual harassment clause. So whether it’s tempting a temp or working overtime with your boss that appeals, make sure that the feelings are mutual. The downfall of supply room shenanigans is that you still have to work together the other 39 hours and 45 minutes a week. But as long as you’re both on the same page, you shouldn’t have a problem making the most of your coffee breaks.
While you could argue that workplace sex is good for staff morale most companies probably wouldn’t see it that way so best of luck not getting caught!
Aussies in Cricket
I have a love-hate relationship with the Australian cricket team. On the one hand, the Aussies'... Join the Discussion..
Win SAFE By Chris Ryan: How To Stay Safe In A Dangerous World $29.99
Would love to win a copy; especially interested on the piece on "You find yourself confronted by a... Join the Discussion..
Win Big Pacific An incredible journey of exploration and revelation $59.99
Excellent resource to add to my personal library. Join the Discussion..
Your most useless talent/ skill
As I look back to my post of old I realize this talent I still hold It may sound confident and... Join the Discussion..
Benefits, of Lettuce.
I must admit when having a burger crispy lettuce really sets it off but its something id never use... Join the Discussion..
Win Keeping your children safe online by John Parsons $34.99
GetFrank is pleased to offer our viewers a chance to win a copy of Keeping your children safe online by John Parsons $34.99.
Win a double pass to Only The Brave
This November, it’s not about what’s standing in front of you. It’s about who’s standing beside you
Surrounded by nothing but tranquil water, SpringBreak Fiji brings together the best of everything
The Fijian Cup
The Pacific Touch Rugby festival (Fijian Cup and Kava Cup) is underway on November 2, 2017 and with support from Touch Fiji and...
Auckland Coffee Festival
Join us as we celebrate our latte lifestyle.
Rock Island FIJI
Jim Beam Rock Island is an all inclusive fully immersive travel experience which was brought into the music festival scene by Jim...