It’s not likely to win you the Employee of the Month Award but nevertheless sex in the workplace is a fantasy for many. And as your dedicated sex columnist, I am honour-bound to give you the best advice for making your fantasies a reality. So here’s the Sexgear guide for helping you to get that work bonus that your boss needn’t know about.
You’ve got mail
While you can still get caught, if you keep your intimate office acts strictly electronic, the embarrassment factor is a lot lower than being found pants-down . Sending sexy messages over email with a colleague can be a good substitute for getting physical on top of the photocopier. The written word allows you and your chosen workmate to express your feelings in detail and the instant messaging means you can get quite the rhythm going. Plus, with the huge selection of emoticons to choose from, you can really get your point across. At the very least, you’ll give your IT guy something to read on his lunch break.
If you do decide to venture outside the virtual world and get hot and heavy in the office itself then location can make a big difference. An often unexplored office space is the elevator. The time restriction means that you have to perfect the art of frantic quickie sex to avoid an awkward scene with those waiting patiently on the ground floor. This rushed and rampant sex, mixed with the fear of getting caught will give you an adrenalin buzz second to none. So as long as you’re not turned off by elevator music, it’s worth trying out.
This location is a little obvious so is strictly for those that have after-hours access. Because that’s what they gave you the key for right? The swivel chair is great because it’s comfortable and the twisting capabilities open you both up to a whole new range of motion. If you are a little uncertain about the movement, push the chair up against a wall to stabilize it until you get the hang of it.
Partner in Crime
The most important thing to remember when engaging in workplace relations is that niggling sexual harassment clause. So whether it’s tempting a temp or working overtime with your boss that appeals, make sure that the feelings are mutual. The downfall of supply room shenanigans is that you still have to work together the other 39 hours and 45 minutes a week. But as long as you’re both on the same page, you shouldn’t have a problem making the most of your coffee breaks.
While you could argue that workplace sex is good for staff morale most companies probably wouldn’t see it that way so best of luck not getting caught!
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