Sex in the Office

Sarah Gibson

Sarah Gibson is the brains and attitude behind the playful adult toy website sexgear . She is also our official ‘sexpert’.

It’s not likely to win you the Employee of the Month Award but nevertheless sex in the workplace is a fantasy for many. And as your dedicated sex columnist, I am honour-bound to give you the best advice for making your fantasies a reality. So here’s the Sexgear guide for helping you to get that work bonus that your boss needn’t know about.
 Office chair, office chairrrr.

You’ve got mail
While you can still get caught, if you keep your intimate office acts strictly electronic, the embarrassment factor is a lot lower than being found pants-down . Sending sexy messages over email with a colleague can be a good substitute for getting physical on top of the photocopier. The written word allows you and your chosen workmate to express your feelings in detail and the instant messaging means you can get quite the rhythm going.  Plus, with the huge selection of emoticons to choose from, you can really get your point across. At the very least, you’ll give your IT guy something to read on his lunch break.

Going Down

If you do decide to venture outside the virtual world and get hot and heavy in the office itself then location can make a big difference.  An often unexplored office space is the elevator. The time restriction means that you have to perfect the art of frantic quickie sex to avoid an awkward scene with those waiting patiently on the ground floor. This rushed and rampant sex, mixed with the fear of getting caught will give you an adrenalin buzz second to none. So as long as you’re not turned off by elevator music, it’s worth trying out. 

Swivel Chair
This location is a little obvious so is strictly for those that have after-hours access. Because that’s what they gave you the key for right? The swivel chair is great because it’s comfortable and the twisting capabilities open you both up to a whole new range of motion. If you are a little uncertain about the movement, push the chair up against a wall to stabilize it until you get the hang of it.

Partner in Crime
The most important thing to remember when engaging in workplace relations is that niggling sexual harassment clause.  So whether it’s tempting a temp or working overtime with your boss that appeals, make sure that the feelings are mutual. The downfall of supply room shenanigans is that you still have to work together the other 39 hours and 45 minutes a week. But as long as you’re both on the same page, you shouldn’t have a problem making the most of your coffee breaks.

While you could argue that workplace sex is good for staff morale most companies probably wouldn’t see it that way so best of luck not getting caught!

 
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  • Hippynz says
    email is not the way to go. To many companies are watching company emails and you can get fired.
  • Steve says
    this is some of getfranks best work
  • Tim says
    just refrain from doing it full stop. Everyone has fantasies and many of these are best not lived out for once they are what do they become? There is always a tendency to get close to those you work with and boring work can lead towards a situation where undressing them with your eyes is not uncommon. But come on your workplace is small and confined and a miniscual sample of the available people out there. Why not use it as encouragement to get outside of work and get yourself a gem.

    What you see that happends a heck of alot is these workplace crushes/lusts if you can call it eventuating into an escapade through a work drinks or function. The next thing you find you are in a forced 'relationship' as such as people see it as the next feasible step. No one wants to let the other down so a relationship is formed under false circumstances.

    It takes a very emotionally strong person or people to maintain a purely sexual arrangement without issues of feelings, jealousy and the like coming along.

    Could you handle working with someone you slept with when you that you now regret?
    • Jonathon says
      Emails can be cc'ed, copied and forwarded. Such a dangerous method of commnication!
    • Jonathon says
      An office affair is an easy thing to do. The people we spend the most time with can easily become the objects of our desire.

      However you still need to seperate out the fact from the fiction. Is he/she really that hot? How will work change if you do hook up with them?

      1 saying to live by - 'Don't screw the crew'.

      If you decide to - DO NOT use work email. Create an alias on gmail or similar, use texting, arrange a few 'out-of-town' appointments or 'rounds of golf'. Keep it clean and out of the office. Unless of course you own the office!
      • The Who!? says
        Ai, but if you own the office then you're up for a right financial rogering when/if things go pear shaped and you end up in the employment court for it
      • Karen says
        I just don't think you can go there. Not a good idea in the long run (unless you are really lucky)
      • nukenin says
        awesome article but having sex in the lift would be a mission, might only get one floor down before some1 walks in
      • John says
        I no they say you shouldn't go there ..... but trust me there's nothing like desecrating the boss' desk with his secretary! ;-)
      • Kikz23 says
        Its great especially when everyone is out of the office after hours and nothing more exciting than having a root on the desk...sometimes the sick bay
      • Dude26 says
        On the Bosses desk is a thrill, the elevator is also a great spot.....
      • lette says
        workplace plus social events and alcohol - the perfect mix for office affairs/encounters

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