Do you want to send your girlfriend/wife/current bed-mate into fits of body-aching sexual pleasure? Of course you do. And the good thing is that answering yes to this question is the first step. Wanting to please her as much as you want to please yourself will already have her exponentially more turned on.

So step one is possessing the desire to satisfy her, step two is doing it with confidence. Having conviction in your bedroom antics is guaranteed to get her closer to orgasm than any new-fangled trick you learnt from porn.  Women like men who are men. So man up and make your moves like you own them.

Take the above core advice into account in combination with the tips below and you’ll be away laughing.

Master something

If you think of sex as being like playing a game of cards then you’ll appreciate how important it is to have a trump card. In the bedroom, no matter how uncertain you feel about your overall skill, if you have just one winning move, it can really turn the game around. Because not only will you feel confident about having this go-to up your sleeve,  it also gives her the illusion that you’re more experienced than you might actually be. And it needn’t be a tricky move either. Some effective skills to practise include that most of us love, and seldom receive; sensual full body massage, slow kissing of the neck and back or oral sex. School up on some of these in the various sex guides available.

Look Good, Feel Good.

As superficial as it might be, a little bit of pre-coital personal grooming will do wonders for increasing your confidence, plus women notice the small things. So go to the gym a couple of times before you next meet her. Not only will this have you looking fit but the endorphins released during exercise will have you feeling good. Complete the confidence makeover by getting a haircut (upstairs and downstairs) and making sure you smell good.

Touch her like you mean it

If you’re timid in your touch, it immediately sends the signal that you’re uncertain about what you’re doing.  Girls love a guy who can take control in the bedroom – regardless of whether or not you’re equipped to – so make sure you commit to your moves. Mix up your touches between aggressive and lighter ones, but keep your hands moving.  A woman loves it when you put your hands all over her body, because it indicates that you can’t get enough of her. And don’t rely on her to let you know when you should stop kissing and start undressing – because it’s likely she’s waiting for you to take the initiative.

Look like you are enjoying yourself

Nothing ruins the mood more than being with a partner who’s reminiscent of a deer in the headlights or simply going through the paces. Many women feel insecure during sex so showing her that what you’re doing to her naked body is as pleasurable for you as it is for her will help her feel and attractive and enjoy herself.  

Be prepared to take direction

Chances are, she knows what she likes so she’ll be willing to point you in the right direction once you get going. Try not to take this as a critique of how things are going but an opportunity to really please her.  So if she says something along the lines of “I’d love you to [insert verb] my [insert anatomical noun].” Then replying with “Mmmm, I’ve always wanted to do that to you...”  Rather than “Um, ok” will sound much better in your favour.

Use Lubricant

Lubricant is perhaps the most underrated sex toy. Lubricant should make an appearance every time you have sex. Keeping things slick will make her infinitely more comfortable and remove any concern she might have about her ability to do that herself (note: a dry environment doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of arousal, some women are just like that). This will allow you to both to relax and enjoy yourselves.