Anal sex; people are really doing it. Believe it or not, it is a regular feature in some kiwi bedrooms, and it’s certainly not the sexual taboo that it once was. If you’re curious about experimenting with ‘the backdoor’ then these dos and don’ts should help you and your partner on your way.
Do use lube, lube and more lube
When it comes to anal sex there is no such thing as too much lube. Unlike the vagina the anus is not self-lubricating, so plenty of silicone or water-based lubricant is essential. It helps the penis to glide into the anal passage, creating a safer and more comfortable experience for you both. There are specifically designed anal lubes available on the market; but any personal lubricant will do. Silicone lubricants are particularly good for anal sex because they don’t dry out and last much longer than the water-based equivalent.
Do use protection
They may ride bareback in the movies, but did you know that the spread of STDs is more likely with anal penetration than vaginal? That’s because the skin in and around the anus is thinner and more prone to little cuts and tears – which in turn allows infections into the body. So do use protection when going in the backdoor.
Do build up to it
Hopefully you ‘warm your partner up’ with foreplay before vaginal sex; you should do the same with anal sex and build up to the main event. Try inserting a well-lubed fingertip or narrow sex toy into your partner, allowing the muscles to gradually relax and dilate before taking things up a notch and penetrating her with your penis. Remember, you’re not trying to stretch the anal opening, but allow it to expand slowly, to accommodate more girth.
Don’t force it
Never hurry or force anal sex. Strictly speaking, the anus was not designed for penetration, so things may be a little uncomfortable for your partner at first. Let her call the shots on how hard, how deep and how fast your movements should be; and if she says stop, not matter how good it may feel, you need to stop immediately. If you want anal sex more than once then you are going to need to take it slowly at first.
Don’t penetrate elsewhere afterward
In porn movies the girls love a bit of ATM action. But do not try this move on your real life girlfriend. It’s gross and will totally obliterate your chances of ever having anal sex with her again – if it doesn’t end your relationship first. In fact, you shouldn’t penetrate another part of her body (i.e. mouth or vagina) directly after anal insertion. The butt contains bacteria that can cause infection or irritation if transferred to another part of the body; so be sure to wash the penis thoroughly with soap and water before reinserting it elsewhere.
Done right, anal sex can feel amazing; but as with anything, it takes practice. If you do decide to give it a go then keep these dos and don’ts in mind. And remember to be gentle and patient, take your time and enjoy the thrill of exploring something new!
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