Nice work, you’ve taken the first step and actually opened up this article. And I’d bet you’re not the only one.
“That’s all very well” you’re thinking. But no one’s actually doing it right? Anal sex is strictly for movies with low production values like Tales from the Tail starring Ben Dover – right? Uh, wrong. In fact, here’s a calming thought... According to other experts in my field, approximately, 1 in 4 heterosexual couples have had anal sex. And even more would like to give it a try.
So before you decide which side of the fence you sit on, scroll through the facts and common queries surrounding the down-there-debate I’ve put together below.
1. I’m not doing it...because I’m not gay.
Who said you had to be? Yup let’s (excuse the pun) get frank about it. Gay men do practise anal sex, and over the last century we have been socially conditioned to associate anal pleasure with homosexuality. But in actuality it has been used for centuries by heterosexual couples as an alternative to contraception. So if you don’t get turned on by men, but do get turned on by the idea of doing something new and intimate with your wife, then you can probably rest assured that you’re not secretly batting for the other team.
2. What’s the appeal?
Just like anything that is naughty or forbidden (outdoor sex, sex in your parents bed, sex at work), the excitement factor of breaking this sexual taboo can be a real turn-on. It is the element of thrill that appeals to many men. Besides that, anatomically, men experience a very different sensation from anal insertion. The anal cavity is tighter and smoother, offering a new sexual sensation.
3. Does she like it?
It’s best to ask the woman on a case-by-case basis. Some will already love it, some will hate it and others will be intrigued to try. But anatomically-speaking there is opportunity for pleasure for her. The anus shares a wall with the vaginal cavity. So anal penetration not only stimulates the cervix (encouraging deep orgasm), at certain angles, it can also target the g-spot ...from...well...behind.
4. And can we swap roles?
Absolutely. The idea of role reversal can be intriguing for some couples. And again, because it is not common practise, the excitement of trying something outside your usual vanilla sex can be very appealing. A strap-on (worn by either yourself or your partner) is a particularly useful sexual aid if experiencing ED.
5. But I can’t you know...reach the finish line that way... can I?
Sure can. For men, stimulation in this area arouses the P-Spot. The P-Spot is the male equivalent of the infamous female G-Spot. Located internally as part of the prostate gland in the lower rectum, the P-Spot is sometimes tricky to access. However, paying attention to this little cluster of nerve endings helps men reach P Spot orgasms and the resulting pleasure is well worth the effort. There are also plenty of sensitive and pleasure-inducing nerve-endings around the anal opening.
6. I’ve heard it’s painful.
Because the area has a strong muscle-contraction system there can be some pain, particularly the first time. The trick is to take it a centimetre at a time and use plenty of lubricant. And by plenty, I mean – almost a whole tube! You both need to try and stay relaxed and keep the communication between you and your partner open. And start small, try fingers before jumping the girth gun.
7. Okay let’s just say it.....what about poo?
While the area does hold some bacteria there are ways to be prepared. Making sure you use condoms and lube, and perhaps even douching beforehand can make sure there are no unpleasant surprises. However, the rectum is an exit canal, NOT a storage facility so your chances of running into something undesirable are very slim.
If you’re still with me, then you’re probably ready to get started. First, talk to your partner. Surprise anal sex is never going to get the desired result. No single position is ideal, but for your first attempt the receiver should be in control.
Take Care, Sarah at Sexgear.co.nz
P.S. If there’s anything about sex that you’d like to ask, or a discussion you’d like to start just email me firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll do my best to write about it for you here at getfrank.co.nz. Or try using our adult’s only forum at forums.sexgear.co.nz
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