What can you do to get over her?  You knew she wasn’t it. She didn’t meet any of the qualities you always said you wanted in a girl, but you fell for her anyway.  Your family didn’t like her and your friends thought you were crazy.  But the chemistry was there and you were starving for intimacy.  She was like an addiction.  You started to avoid old ties and drop out of your usual activities.  People stopped calling or coming by.

When you caught her cheating, you didn’t want to believe it.  But in spite of all the evidence, and even though you say you never want to see her again…you still think about her and miss her.
 
Here are some steps to help you move on:
 
Change the tapes in your mind.
Sometimes we can get over longing for someone when we are realistic and tell ourselves the truth about who and what she is.  If you can get past the “…if only she would change, my life would be heaven…” delusions, you can let go.  All of our relationship misery comes from that one premise: if only she would be the way I want her to be. Try a new tape.  Make it positive and upbeat, like: I’m going to focus on making my life great.  I can’t change other people but I can definitely change my mind and my life.
 
Take the first step.
Take one step at a time to change one area of your life.  Often, you can’t get over someone because tackling the whole of your life looks and feels overwhelming.  Where do you start when it seems like there is so much to be done?  You may want to find a counselor to help you.  Take the time and opportunity to learn from what you have gone through so you won’t repeat this pattern with someone else.  Because if you fell for someone who was obviously going to be a Miss Heartache, some other parts of your life were probably not working also.  Discover how to give yourself what you need so you won’t be as vulnerable to the wrong relationship.
 
Move out of the Victim Syndrome.
It’s time to take responsibility for your happiness.  If you believe the myth that “There’s no one else out there for me,” you will obsess longer and harder for someone you aren’t meant to be with. You have lots of choices. But you can’t meet them if you are sitting at home alone…doing nothing…except yearning for Heartache. 
 
Step up to better self-care.
Rest, exercise, good food, and good friends are a few places to start in mending your heart.  Make sure you are taking care of your financial life also.  Either make more or spend less, but get yourself in balance.  Then, find an activity that you love to do.  Don’t protest that there aren’t any.  There is SOMETHING that will be fun to explore and will give you energy.  When you have energy, you’ll be on your way to a better frame of mind.
 
Work on a life you admire.
Are you brave enough to name your biggest bad habit?  What would it take to get rid of it?  What are you willing to do about it?  Guaranteed, if you handle this, you will be much less likely to allow yourself to be mistreated in a relationship.  Further, if your life is brimming with opportunities and accomplishments, you won’t want to spend time with someone who doesn’t see and appreciate you.
Whenever you are yearning for the wrong person, you have to ask, “What am I not giving myself?”  Do you need new career goals, a diet plan, a mentor, a counselor, or time with people who love you?
 
Gather evidence.
If you aren’t convinced of your worth, besides tackling your self-destructive habits, start keeping a “box of evidence.”  Put your special medals, cards, notes, pictures, and words of encouragement from others in this box.  When you feel down, take it out and re-read what’s in it.  Sometimes, you may need to be reminded that you matter.  You can limit all your possibilities by thinking you aren’t enough.
 
Take care of your spirit.  
Your soul needs to hear kind words and good news.  You can be in control of this.  If you think the world is bad, turn off the daily news, take a walk, and focus on nature.  If you find that the people around you constantly talk about everything that is wrong with life, distance yourself from them.  Spend time with positive people, read books that inspire, watch funny movies, or listen to some kids talk.  For a quick energy fix, de-clutter some corner of your living space.  When you get organized, you may notice you have enough energy to jump from Earth to Venus.
 
When you do the above, you will be able to let Heartache be a distant memory.  You won’t have time or inclination to visit what didn’t work when life is full of promise.