Approaching – let’s get you started!!!
Lest you think there is only one pickup game expert in New Zealand (other than you), think again. My mate Gambler and I were comparing technique the other night and he came out with possibly the most fun exercise I’ve participated in. It’s all about conquering the fear of approaching beautiful woman you don’t know in a social setting, or Approach Anxiety. Being the charming young man he is, Gambler has written a column on his game for your good gaming.
A bit on approach anxiety. No matter what, we all have it. It never leaves. So where does it come from? Basically there are two reasons. Firstly, in pre-historical, tribal times, if you hit on the wrong breeding female, you could easily be killed by a rival male who was copulating with that female. This was obviously not good for one’s gene’s reproduction and so we developed a fear of the direct and explicit approach to breeding females. Secondly, in our ancestor’s incredibly close knit tribal groups, if you did something to demonstrate that you were inferior to other males, you would likely be ostracised by all the females of the group. A far worse fate for you and your genes than even death. Imagine that, no chance of ever getting laid!
Therefore, we are hardwired to avoid the direct approach in favour of the indirect. BUT, the indirect approach is for saps (for example, sending a drink to a woman, sending flowers, getting a mate to approach). Whilst the pain won’t go away, you need to conquer this fear by having good game, or by trying this…
COLT has asked me to write a column and clue you up on my little game but like most things in life the hardest part is getting started right? It’s precisely the same for learning the skills of picking up. Throughout the last few years of my life countless people have asked me “Dude what the fuck, how do you do that” or “can you teach me how to be like that around girls” and like every alpha male I enjoy nothing more than the full attention of a group of guys as I go into lengthy discussion about the finer points of picking up. Sadly the reality is that 99% of the guys I entertain with my theories on human behaviour will never use what they learn, not because they disagree (usually people agree with the logic behind most theories once explained) but because they don’t have the balls to walk up to a complete stranger and get rejected. Trust me when I say that not 5% of the people that read pick-up advice will actually go out this week and talk to a complete stranger and use what they have learned - so let’s change that!
For most people approaching a complete stranger in a club (I assume that’s where most will start) is a very nerve-racking experience. For some reason your mind screams at you to abandon the idea and it feels extremely un-natural to approach. I’m not sure why our bodies react this way but I assume it has something to do with protecting us from social embarrassment – of failure in front of our peers. Fortunately I have invented a game that will take your fear of approaching completely away. I have played this game with friends (some very shy people) many times and trust me, by the end of the night you will have no fear of approaching random people. First I will explain the game and then try to explain why it works.
The Approach Game:
Before the night:
1. Take $20 and change it into $2 coins
2. Give the 10 $2 coins to a friend that you are going out with that night. make sure you do this well before you get to the club/party
3. its not imperative but the game works best with a few players/approaches
The obvious objective of the game is to get all your money back. The only way to earn your money back ($2 at a time) is to get REJECTED! Every time you successfully approach a girl/group and get rejected you earn back $2. The only way to get all your money back is to be rejected 10 times before you go home.
1. You can not know any of the people in the group
2. You must get REJECTED, if you happen to succeed in striking up a conversation and they seem interested or respond positively to your advances, you don’t collect – well done though.
3. You can not buy another drink until you have been rejected again
4. Remember you’re trying to get rejected, so go for gorgeous girls no matter what you feel or look like.
Why it works:
Here are some of the many reasons why this game works at taking away approach anxiety. By changing the objective from being accepted to rejected it changes how your mind perceives failure. You literally cannot lose at this game and this takes away any fear of failure or rejection. It’s also awesome fun and makes for a very hilarious night. There is nothing funnier than seeing someone get rejected over and over again – especially when they don’t care because that is precisely their objective. With the help of a few beers and peer pressure from friends you soon find yourself coming up with the funniest ways of getting rejected. If you are anything like me and my friends soon everything becomes a competition and everyone wants the best rejected story to tell the next morning and by this stage all traces of approach anxiety have disappeared.
Presumably you’re not reading this column so you can go out and get rejected for the rest of your life. But this game will help you get women in two distinct ways. Firstly it will take away your fear of approaching strangers. A few nights out playing this and you should have no trouble approaching people at clubs/parks/bus stops/gym’s or wherever. Secondly believe it or not but my friends and I have run the best game and had the most positive responses from when we were actually trying to get rejected. You find yourself approaching with a different attitude. Your approach is so different than what girls have had before they don’t understand it and can sense that you don’t care. You’re not there to impress them and they wonder why and this undeniably makes them more attracted to you. I guarantee that by the second time you play this you will find it very difficult to get rejected even a few times.
Go have fun!!!
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