Approach Game


Colt is a well known figure on the Auckland social circuit and regular contributor to online magazines under his real name. Combining natural ability with carefully honed pickup game, Colt has become extraordinarily adept at adapting game theory for New Zealand conditions. He lives in Auckland with his girlfriends.

Right, it’s time for approach game. If you haven’t read the preceding columns, it’s time to do so. Background and practice is important so you don't make a marnis of yourself.

Couple on sofa holding champagne glasses, man kissing woman's shoulder


As we’ve discussed you will now need to have a group of well-trained wing men or pivots (female wingmen) and be the alpha male of the group. It is important you have developed your mask and are prepared to act when you are out gaming.

Humans gather in social situations with the underlying purpose of mating. Social environments equal groups of people who will intersect and interact. This is the very purpose of socialising. By doing so, beautiful women are unconsciously complicit in your picking them up. 
Even if they say they are “just here to dance” they are actually there to meet people, so don’t be fooled.

As we’ve discussed, beautiful women also hang around in groups. This is for two purposes; to validate themselves socially and to cock-block douche-bag guys with no game. This means you need to go to locations with many groups of such women. Naturally the best places are well-lit bars, clubs, restaurants and the like. This will maximise your impact and chances. Think of it as a “target rich” environment, to use a military term.

Upon arrival, the previous columns you now know off by heart come in to play. Before you enter the bar you will need to be in a high state of excitement, good humour and control. This is where your acting comes in. Put on the mask of the fun, friendly, popular, happy and funny guy. It is also critical you lead the group into the bar laughing, talking and with a MASSIVE smile on your dial! Just imagine, how would George Clooney walk into a bar with his entourage? Well that is what you're aiming for. Channel GC. The other critical gambit is to look straight ahead. Let everyone look at you and see how awesome you are. This shows that you are confident and involved in your own world. 
The worst thing you can do is let your eyes flit all around the room. 
The eyes are the windows to the soul and this will instantly lower your social value subconsciously with all who you make eye contact with. It will convey nervousness and neediness.

/img/placeholder.gif?aHR0cDovL2k1OTYucGhvdG9idWNrZXQuY29tL2FsYnVtcy90dDQ1L2dldGZyYW5rLzAzMDgxMC9hbHBoYW1hbGUuanBnSo you’re GC entering a bar. Everyone thinks “who’s this cool, popular, fun, alpha male?” They don’t know who you know and don’t know you, so it’s time to make friends. Your aim is to greet and be friendly to every group of people with a woman in it, before you go to the bar. This is “The Icebreaker” move (credit Potato). Basically, as you walk past each woman, exchange a sentence or two of fun banter and then move on. Stuff like “let’s get this party started!” “Going nuts?” 
“Nice boa!” Whatever is spontaneous and fun in the moment. DO NOT STOP! No matter what she says. You are displaying confident behaviours and building your social proof in the room. The more people you say hi to, the more people will see you saying hi and the higher your status will rise.

Don’t be selective, just be friends with everyone. You don’t want to restrict your options. If you open every group and just move on, you show you are confident, socially proofed and no threat, all the easier to re-open the group later. What will happen is you come across as spontaneous and fun, you are not the guy who goes straight to the bar and then eyes up all the beautiful women in the room from afar. Those guys are creepy. Don’t be creepy.

Once you have greeted and had fun with every group you possibly can, head to the bar and keep up the banter with your entourage. Ignore the room. Turn with your back to the bar and look confidently around. Make sure you’re smiling! Watch as groups and especially women subconsciously gravitate into your area. The key is to look for groups that have moved in, and especially the woman is now closest to you with her neck turned. This is an indication of interest. Now it’s time to split from your group and engage her…

More in the next missive.


Plan a night out with your mates and before you go out, re-read all the previous columns. Especially the action one.

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  • Jack says
    Has anyone else noticed that all of this is very American technique? Certain aspects of American technique work here, sure. But stuff like talking 'to every group with a woman in it, before you go to the bar' just won't work in Auckland (and most likely other NZ places). NZ women are EXPERTS at cockblocking. There has to be someone who has perfected NZ technique out there.
  • Brent says
    so true
  • Don't get caught up on the details all the "love experts" give. using the fish metaphor... remember the fish swim to the bait the bait doesn't swim to the fish. this is my method

    1. dress so your comfortable and smart. don't get hung up on being "stylish" if that type of clothing is out of your comfort zone as you will be self conscious all night. so long as you don't look like a douch go for it.

    2. Don't go to town looking for girls!!! go looking to have a good social night. girls can pick up a pretender/creep a mile off. if your out having a good time they will want to be a part of it! go from there!

    3. Don't try hard. my rule is that however much effort I am planning on using I half. once again if you try too hard girls pick up on this which = desperation.

    4. let them do the bulk of the talking, and ask a few intersting questions about what ever they are rambling about
    and throw in a bit of a tease.

    5. treat them like a "bro" this makes them feel comfortable with you and doesn't set off the rapist alarm bells. minus the swearing and rude jokes of course.

    6. don't do all the work. let them touch you let them try and flirt etc. we all know how much hotter a girl is who doesn't seem interested in us is. it's the same for them.

    7. the mini date!!!! tell dont ask them to check out the next club along the strip. as when you lead her in all the guys in there assume your together (less competition) she has enough time for you to go to another bar plus most importantly you man'd up and took her somewhere... if she says no then go any way... 1. she will beg you to stay 2. she will give in and come or 3. you can swing past later and now she knows that you aren't desperate for her unlike all the other idiots swooning over her!!!

    long story short be a man not a little boy begging for his lollipop

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